Wednesday, December 06, 2006

My twin

Courtney’s blog (http://cjanerun.blogspot.com) reminded me of something I bet you didn’t know about me (except maybe Marjorie). Here it is: I have a twin somewhere.

I found this twin as a result of a blind date seventeen or eighteen years ago (yikes!) during which my date kept saying to me, “You look just like a girl in a magazine.”

OK, that is probably the stupidest and least true line I have ever heard. I have never had any exaggerated belief in my own beauty. I have always been the “girl next door” type, the one guys fall for in spite of themselves after “getting to know me.” I do not attract attention. I do NOT look like a girl in any magazine. (And I didn’t then, when I was a skinny little nineteen-year-old.) But he kept SAYING it.

At the end of the date, at his house, he said, “Here, I’ll show you,” and pulled out a magazine.

It was a Land’s End catalog.

I think they use real people for that catalog. Or at least they did then. (I wouldn’t know now because I can’t afford their clothes.) At any rate, their models didn’t really look like model-types. They looked like people you see every day. And there before me was a picture of ME! Spitting image! Even down to the squinchy eye! If it weren’t for her hair--which was longer than I had ever managed to grow mine--and the sleeveless sundress she was wearing, I would have called an attorney to sue because someone had STOLEN a picture of me!

It was really creepy.

I cut out the picture and put it in my scrapbook. It’s still there, in case you want to see it. Of course, it doesn’t look like me anymore because, while my twin stayed a petite nineteen, I turned into a middle-aged, mommy-shaped blob. (Otherwise I’d scan it in and put it up here for you to see.)

So I wonder sometimes what my twin is up to. Did she have four kids? (Did she get stretch marks when she was pregnant that made the OB whistle “Stars and Stripes Forever” when he caught sight of them?) Did she marry as well as I did? Is she happy? I know she can’t possibly be as happy as I am. Because instead of modeling, I used my time in more important ways. Like, um, working in Orange Julius. (Brown polyester forever.) Also, she is obviously not as smart as I am—because I know at least one thing that she doesn’t: that she has a twin somewhere.

How ‘bout you? Do you have a twin?

8 comments:

Maralise said...

I always get comments like, "You look just like my cousin" or "Do you know Mark ??? because you look just like his girlfriend" or "Do I know you from somewhere?"

Why? I must have a twin out there. Or two. Or three.

Emily said...

Not to threadjack, but I want to see pictures of your beautifully painted new home!

queenserene said...

Oh, everyone knows my twin. Catherine Zeta-Jones.

Marj said...

I thought I was your twin (remember our matching shirts we bought and wore at the Galleria?). I don't remember the picture from the magazine.

Darlene said...

Emily, I wish I had a beautifully painted home! I think you've got me mixed up with someone else. (Did you read Courtney's blog and think she was talking about me?) My house is pretty nice, but not nicely decorated (and paint comes in one color: offwhite). I'd sure like to change that, but it's WAY down on the priority list.

Marj: Of course you remember! You were on the blind date with me! You set us up! Remember those guys who took us to Park City? You need to come over for a scrapbook review session, girl.

scott bronson said...

I have some friends who spent a summer in Russia. One day, while strolling through an art museum, they walked into a room and saw a portrait of a nineteenth century Russian playwright with a red beard, a balding pate, a bulbous nose and piercing blue eyes. They stood transfixed for a moment, then turned to each other and said, "Scott Bronson." How weird is that?

Darlene said...

Scott,
I don't think it's weird at all. I think you definitely could have been a Russian playwright in a previous life. Also, you remind me of a character in a book I read once . . . let's see, something by Dave Wolverton, maybe? (wink)

But actually, there is a guy in one of the church videos that looks just like you. I saw it a long time ago so I can't remember which one. I think it was a Roman soldier, or something. But I know it very possibly could have been you. Which church videos are you in? (And which, out of curiosity, did Thom direct?)

scott bronson said...

I played the apostle Peter in "Easter Dream." I was an ancient building supervisor in some seminary video. I've also been a monk and a bishop and some opportunistic goon trying to gyp the Mormons out of some money ... and I can't remember what else. I did do the voice of a Roman Soldier once--for The Lamb of God--because the young guy in the part didn't have a gruff enough voice I suppose.

Thom directed some stuff for the MTC--training videos.