Tuesday, May 16, 2006

The Look

So, as I mentioned below, Middlemarch has one of the most romantic lines ever. But I have to say that it wouldn't work without The Look. There is this certain look that is an indispensable component of the very best romantic moments in chic flicks. It's a look that passes from hero to heroine that is fraught with meaning and that sort of heart-skipping mental exclamation point that comes when the characters (and viewer) realize that there is Something Going On and we darn well better be sure to stick around and see what unfolds.


Gilbert's look at Anne when he says "Carrots" (at the end of the whole thing, not when he breaks the slate).

Robin Hood's look at Marian when he's on the boat, being rowed away from her.

Mr. Darcy's look at Elizabeth when she is playing the piano and looks up at him.

Captain Wentworth's look at Anne Elliot when she comes out to meet him after reading his letter.

Etc., etc. You get the idea. Robert Redford is really good at The Look.

I've had my own experience with The Look. I got one when I was dating Rog, and it basically marked the point at which the relationship became serious.

So, guys, practice it in the mirror. Maybe it will make your dreams come true.

If your wife doesn't burst out laughing.

Yeah, come to think of it, married people don't really get The Look anymore. Well, they get a look, but it's not that look. It usually means "You've got something green stuck between your teeth," or "It's time to goooooooooo" (at a boring party), or "Your turn to change the diaper." So what is it that disappears when you get married, and what is it replaced by? Whatever it is that happens, Jane Austen didn't know about it, because she never married. That's why her books are so very romantic and fun--but ultimately not as deeply moving to me, because they leave out the most important part of a relationship, which is what happens to it once both parties have expressed commitment. How do they learn to live together? How does their love change and grow? How do they become best friends, and then one in heart? That's the deeper romance, but it is not an exclamation point. (But I secretly believe that it will be an exclamation point in the next life, that God will magnify our relationships so that we can feel all the best parts of the falling in love process AT THE SAME TIME as we feel all the best parts of the being in love, learning to love, loving with all our soul process that happens over a lifetime.)

So what, really, is romance AFTER marriage?

Well, for me it is my husband, who doesn't care for poetry, buying me a laptop to pursue my hobby. It's his arriving home tired, looking at me (the look?), and sending me to my room with a good book for some peace while HE makes dinner. It's his tucking me in when I'm tired or sad. It's his holding me when I cry.

That's true romance.

It's nice, though, to have a Look to look back on, too.


Suzie Petunia said...

I forgot how much I love Anne of Green Gables until this very moment! I think I'll go get it so I can introduce my daughter. Wouldn't that be so fun if she got into it? My husband is wonderful and romantic and even (reluctantly) watches a chic flick with me occasionally. However, he draws the line at Anne of Green Gables.

For me, "the look" has evolved into a wink after 10 years of marriage. It comes in very handy and reminds me how much I am loved.

Suzie Petunia said...

So is your name "Eunice" or "Darlene"?

Darlene said...

Ack, no! I am not Eunice. I am Darlene. Funny to think that people (very reasonably) think that my name might be Eunice. Maybe I should change the name of the blog sometime. I named it that because it is a line from one of my favorite movies ever: "That's a person named Eunice?" (It was late at night when I created my blog, and, truly, I wasn't expecting to make it public at first.)

Anyway, if you want to see a hilarious movie, go get "What's Up, Doc?" from your local library. Yes, the one with Barbra Streisand.

How old is your daughter? I introduced Anne to my SONS at ages 4 and 6 and they loved it! (But, since they are allowed pitifully little TV, they probably just loved the chance to watch ANYTHING.)

Suzie Petunia said...

My daughter is 7 (and a half!). I'll add What's Up, Doc to my library list. Thanks! I always need fresh ideas for entertainment. Do you read much? What would you recommend?

Suzie Petunia said...

Oh, and my name isn't really "Suzie" either! That's what my dad used to call me when I was little.

Darlene said...

She's definitely ready for Anne!

Yes, I read much. And recommendations . . . well, that would take a blog post of its own. You're the third person who has asked me this week, so I'll post a list of suggestions soon.

Ilove2travel said...

So I finally got a display name!

Romance after marriage is a trip to Paris, shopping the street markets, falling asleep in each other arms while watching the Eiffel Tower twinkle. I do love to travel.


Kathy said...

You've got the look I want to know better... You've got the look that's all together...

(finish this jingle)

I'm a big fan of all versions and manifestations of the look. One of my favorites is the indescribable satisfaction that comes when my husband and I say the exact same thing at the exact same time. And then look at each other, like, "yep, you're the one."

You're inspiring a post in me!