God's Still Driving This Car

Yesterday I had to take off some earrings I had been wearing for most of the day because of irritation. I said to Roger, who bought them for me, "These must have nickel in them."

"They don't!" he said. "I researched them! I know not to get you that kind!"

I shrugged. "All I know is that they hurt, so they're going to D.I."

Later, he came to me and said, "I did some research on the site I bought the earrings from. Turns out you're right. They DO have a little nickel in them--a 'negligible' amount. I saw the word hypo-allergenic and figured they were OK without reading to the details. But you could tell."

Now, as I'm still recovering from the surgery, I am again thankful to God for arranging my life in better ways than I could. I was scheduled for the repair surgery with a device years ago, and everything fell through because my insurance refused to pay. That was a disappointment. Then, a couple of weeks ago when I went for the stitch surgery, I arranged to have an official nickel test beforehand because I had heard that sometimes the surgeon discovered, during the procedure, that a patient's hole was too big for stitch repair and required a device. There are currently no 100% nickel-free devices available (though the manufacturers claim that the amount is "negligible"). Because of various factors (including an allergist's failure to explain things to me), the nickel test I had done was inconclusive because it was read too early. (It was read after only 48 hours, but the doctor reading it--not the one who ordered it--claimed that it needed "up to a week" to be accurate.) But the early reading showed no irritation, so on the day of the surgery we decided to go ahead with the device if necessary.

Thankfully (and I mean that word very literally--I am so thankful), it was not. So my experience with the earrings yesterday made me thankful again. I have heard horror stories of the problems some nickel-sensitive people have had with the device (culminating, once they figure out that it is the source of the strange symptoms, with open-heart surgery to remove it).

I want to remember this. I want to remember during disappointments and misunderstandings and normal daily bruising that God is really in charge. Trust, trust, trust.

I find myself trying to apply this to what's going on in the country/world right now. I don't ever want to claim that God wishes for our suffering or actively brings it about. There are some hard, hard things going on that are simply tragic. But I've found that when I bring the camera in from long-shot to close-up, I see God working in people's lives. I see a lot of families getting closer to each other during this time, experiencing spiritual growth as they do church together. I see people making changes that should have happened earlier (leaving a job they hated, for example). I see communities pulling together as they help each other, or working hard to speak up against society wrongs that have been going on too long under the radar. In the worst scenarios (death and disease, domestic abuse), I find that I can hold two things in my mind at once: pain and faith. I can feel the tragedy and mourn it, but I can also believe that somehow God is reaching for people, still, and waiting for us to reach for Him.

I don't want to sugarcoat things or wear my faith like a gaudy designer dress in front of people who are in deep distress. But I have not lost hope, and just because this time has been easier for me than many, I don't believe in a God who wants me to. But He wants my hope to motivate me to action (which is the definition of faith, I think). I'm not sure what action, though. For now, what I can think of is speaking truth and bearing testimony. Listening to other people's stories without judgment. Donating what I can. Being braver and more honest in my political actions. What can you think of?