Sunday, October 13, 2019

Ephesians 5:22


“Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.” (Ephesians 5:22)

This verse came up in our “Come Follow Me” discussion this morning, of course, since it was in the reading. I have always had no problem with the concept of church leaders giving their own opinions of things (which are influenced by the cultures they live in). Sometimes the church leaders are also the authors of scripture, but I don’t think that just because Paul’s letter was collected and included in the bundle of documents that became the King James Version means that everything he says is the opinion and doctrine of God. We talked together about the fact that there are many Christian sects that do believe every word of the bible to be the word of God, and that they see it as a precarious practice to delve into issues of culture in the interpretation of what God wants us to do with the opinions of the writers of, and speakers within, scripture. This can look to others as “picking and choosing,” and that can lead to dangerous results.

Which is why we need living prophets and personal revelation, of course.

So we got on the subject of living prophets. I told my sixteen-year-old about how I have seen, in my lifetime, an effort by General Authorities in General Conference to begin to steer the church culture away from the model of the dominating patriarch within the family. There was a period of years when I was a young wife when I would ask my husband each time he came home from the priesthood session of General Conference, “Were there any ‘wife talks’?” Because there almost always was at least one talk to the men asking them to be less dominating (or abusive) and more nurturing of their wives, encouraging them to see and treat their wives as equal. I know that there are many who like to point out the ways our rhetoric could still improve in this area, but I think it’s important to acknowledge the progress we’ve made. I asked my son at the beginning of this conversation how he knows that God doesn’t really expect wives to “submit” to their husbands any more than husbands should submit to their wives (in a relationship of caring and charity), and he talked about what he sees in the families at church (“by their fruits”). I think it’s great that it hadn’t really occurred to him that God would actually mean that men should dominate. Things ARE changing.

I was thinking about President Hinckley, who is one of the people I attribute this cultural change to, and what comes to mind is the feisty personality of his wife. I think there is absolutely a connection between these things. I think President Hinckley was the man he was, and able to do what he did, in part because his wife was who SHE was. I think he listened to her, and this enabled him to seek and/or receive the revelations he did about guiding the church to do better in this area. I think also about the first time I heard Elder Uchtdorf (President Uchtdorf at the time) speak to the women in Women’s Conference, and how I came home and told my husband, “He must have an articulate, thoughtful wife” because I could tell, from the way he spoke to women, that he understood the kinds of things we struggle with.

Image result for gordon b hinckley

As I ponder the connection I believe exists between our male leaders who have helped our culture evolve in terms of the treatment of and rhetoric around women, I think of how President Nelson has made an obvious effort to include his own wife in his talks. He refers to her often, using “we” much more regularly than I’ve heard before, and invites her to speak along with him more often than we’ve seen a prophet do before. She also is a strong woman, obviously, but I want to give him kudos for respecting, including—even using—her. I believe that he is changing the culture, and hope, excitedly, that he is setting a precedent and that prophets’ wives will become more visible as a new tradition.

We live in exciting times. I know that many wish that the progress would come faster, but it is coming. Let’s take time to recognize and rejoice in it.

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