Last week both cars broke down, one of them twice. Also, the cat got bitten and had to go to the vet. Also, we had a plumbing leak that will require major repair. Also, I bounced three checks because I sent a deposit to the wrong account.
Why are these reasons that I must be on the mend?
Because we have had almost NO stressful problems at all for the past nine months or so, and I have felt all along that God was preserving me from such stressful things because he knew I couldn’t handle them in conjunction with my illness.
Therefore, he must know that I am getting to the point where I can handle things—right?
And, by the way, the illness has left me with remarkable serenity about these kinds of things. It’s as if my usual stress-responses have been re-educated. I’ve learned what things really do matter (health) and what don’t (money, tasks). Wouldn’t it be cool, though, if I could reach a place of serenity in which health wouldn’t matter either? Of course, I have been praying for this kind of faith all along. “One step at a time, Lord.” When health hasn’t come as quickly as I had hoped, I have resigned myself to praying, “Well, if I can’t feel well today, at least let me be able to make it through sacrament meeting doing my calling,” or “Help me to at least get the bills paid.”
It seems obvious, but I am learning literally that faith means finding a way for it to be OK even if I am NOT well (not just having faith that I’ll get well).